Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Searching For My Big Sister...

I may have found my sister today.

That sounds weird, huh? Maybe I should say, I might have located my older sister, who may or may not know I exist. Somewhat better?

It's hard when people ask me how many siblings I have. Biologically, I have 4, with 3 of them being what some people call half-siblings. First, there's my sister. She's six years older than me, born and raised in Germany by her mom. My father was an army soldier stationed there (and you know how the story goes.) Back home, he was with/married to my brother's mom. He was born 6 months after our sister. I'm born six years later to our father and my mother. Twelve years later, our brother is born. Twelve years after him, my mother and stepfather had my youngest brother who is now 4. Got all that?!

I grew up an only child for the first twelve years of my life. I knew I had a sister overseas and my brother lived with his mother's family a half hour away. I saw him some weekends and around our birthday since they fall one day apart in August. Our father would talk to our sister on the phone every so often, usually around her birthday, I think. He'd never let me speak to her, or write to her for that matter. I don't think she knew I existed.

After working with my second cousin on one part of our family tree, I shared with my mother, my desire to know more about my father's side. Me and him aren't on the best terms, speaking a few times during the year. He came to visit them in Georgia this weekend for his uncle's funeral. She told him about me trying to find my sister and he gave her the last address he remembered. I tried looking it up word for word and ended up with a deadend. I couldn't find her on facebook or on the German white pages.

Then today while talking to my mother, I was curious as to why her name was spelled slightly different than what I'd always thought it to be. It made all the difference. I checked the German white pages again and found a similar last name. That name led to someone with the same name as my sister's mother. I revised my search with that last name and found someone who could be my sister, living in the same area in Germany. The spelling is just off enough that I wouldn't have thought to look for that variation. She is in her 30's now and they lost contact a long time ago, so it makes sense that our father's memory could be somewhat fuzzy.

I sent her a message on Facebook, explaining who I was along with a baby picture of my sister (the only picture we have.) Her profile pictures look a lot like what I'd imagine her to look like now. It doesn't look like she's been on Facebook or any other social media for a while, but I'm hoping to hear something soon. If it isn't her then the search is still on. If it is, we have the possibility of connecting and getting to know each other but the other reality is she may not want anything to do with me. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. 

I just pray whatever the outcome is, I have peace.


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